...No write
Iran daily life
Just sick of politics I guess. I forgot how to write about day-to-day life because it seemed there was no day-to-day life. But there was. There were the mountains, the taxi drivers, the jokes, the kindnesses, shopping, worrying.
Speaking of worrying… In the past 27 years Tehran has grown from something like 4 million to something like 20 million. “That doesn’t include the Afghans,” someone told us the other night. “They try to disappear into the crowd.”
The buildings are still going up. Everywhere we go, there is the sound of jackhammers, the smell of tar, and the sight of steel frames going up into the air. I thought the building would slow down when sanctions were threatened, but it’s sped up. Maybe the owners are worried about increases in the prices of building materials.
“I am so confused,” a recent returnee and very dear friend tells me and K. “I was coming from the airport with my dad, and I asked him, ‘where are we?’ he told me the name of the street. I always remembered this street as so beautiful, and now it was just ugly. Really ugly. Tehran is an ugly city.”
I have learned to find Tehran beautiful in its own way.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Losing my sense of humor…
Tagged as: Iran: cartoons
Sung to the tune of REM’s song…
“Did you know that a German paper has published a cartoon of the Iranian national team as suicide bombers?”
I laugh. K doesn’t think it’s funny. “It’s an insult to the Iranian people, not to our government.”
“I am sure that they did not caricature the individual players.”
“It is still our team.”
Don’t joke about football in Iran… the riots will really start!
“Iran deserves it. They advertise for suicide bombers, train them, reward them. What do they expect?”
“Now an Iranian paper is sponsoring a contest for cartoons about the Holocaust.”
“That’s sick.”
“That’s where free speech gets you…”
“No one is making fun of the Iranians who were gassed during the war with Iraq. They are not the subject of cartoons. Surely you see the difference.”
“Of course I see the difference. But when I go to Europe people see me as a terrorist. That’s what bothers me.”
Iranians know that the rest of the world sees them as terrorists. It really, really disturbs them. But they are out of control of their image abroad. It’s been hijacked.
“Why can’t we be a normal country?”
“What’s normal?”
“You know, modern. A place where people are not scared.”
I have said this before, and I’ll say it again: the biggest lesson I have learned in Iran is that free speech is more important than democracy. Iranians all have opinions. They know how to talk, and they speak their minds. What they cannot do is organize. I can tell you what I think as long as I don’t tell three strangers what I think. I can disagree with government actions as long as I don’t try to get anyone else to act on my ideas. Talk is okay. Action is not. Free speech is action.
Gene (in the comments section) asks about the bus drivers in Iran. Do people know what is going on? I don’t know. We have heard sympathy for them. But it’s very quiet. Think of these drivers… They are AN’s natural constituents: poor, hardworking, most likely observant. And they are arrested and put in prison for demanding living wages! AN would probably call them “imaginary,” just as he did when Christianne Amanpour asked him about the plight of people similar to these drivers.
This is a regime that punishes its supporters more than its detractors. There is absolutely no news of the plight of the bus drivers in Iran. There is very, very little discussion of it.
Well, I'll make sure to look for the union label and remember the depth of gratitude I owe to the unions and guilds who spent centuries creating dialog, free speech, and democracy. (Do you think that might actually be the case? I am not a historian of democracy or of unions/guilds... just wondering.)
Sung to the tune of REM’s song…
“Did you know that a German paper has published a cartoon of the Iranian national team as suicide bombers?”
I laugh. K doesn’t think it’s funny. “It’s an insult to the Iranian people, not to our government.”
“I am sure that they did not caricature the individual players.”
“It is still our team.”
The paper's editors are clueless as to why portraying athletes as terrorists might have outraged Iranians. "The absurdity of the situation is obvious," editor Gerd Appenzeller writes in an opinion piece. No one, he argues, would ever believe that the Iranian team would show up armed -- nor would the Bundeswehr be present on the soccer pitch. "The illustrator makes that clear," he explains. "The Iranians' faces, just like those of the Germans, are those of peaceful everyday people -- the boys next door" -- not rabid terrorists. The paper said it "regretted the Iranian reactions to the caricature" and that it would be hard to explain the domestic political debate over deploying the Bundeswehr during the World Cup to the Iranians.
Don’t joke about football in Iran… the riots will really start!
“Iran deserves it. They advertise for suicide bombers, train them, reward them. What do they expect?”
“Now an Iranian paper is sponsoring a contest for cartoons about the Holocaust.”
“That’s sick.”
“That’s where free speech gets you…”
“No one is making fun of the Iranians who were gassed during the war with Iraq. They are not the subject of cartoons. Surely you see the difference.”
“Of course I see the difference. But when I go to Europe people see me as a terrorist. That’s what bothers me.”
Iranians know that the rest of the world sees them as terrorists. It really, really disturbs them. But they are out of control of their image abroad. It’s been hijacked.
“Why can’t we be a normal country?”
“What’s normal?”
“You know, modern. A place where people are not scared.”
I have said this before, and I’ll say it again: the biggest lesson I have learned in Iran is that free speech is more important than democracy. Iranians all have opinions. They know how to talk, and they speak their minds. What they cannot do is organize. I can tell you what I think as long as I don’t tell three strangers what I think. I can disagree with government actions as long as I don’t try to get anyone else to act on my ideas. Talk is okay. Action is not. Free speech is action.
Gene (in the comments section) asks about the bus drivers in Iran. Do people know what is going on? I don’t know. We have heard sympathy for them. But it’s very quiet. Think of these drivers… They are AN’s natural constituents: poor, hardworking, most likely observant. And they are arrested and put in prison for demanding living wages! AN would probably call them “imaginary,” just as he did when Christianne Amanpour asked him about the plight of people similar to these drivers.
This is a regime that punishes its supporters more than its detractors. There is absolutely no news of the plight of the bus drivers in Iran. There is very, very little discussion of it.
Well, I'll make sure to look for the union label and remember the depth of gratitude I owe to the unions and guilds who spent centuries creating dialog, free speech, and democracy. (Do you think that might actually be the case? I am not a historian of democracy or of unions/guilds... just wondering.)
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Nerves & Giggles
Tagged as: Iran culture
Irritable bowel syndrome, ulcers, panic attacks, headaches, and other nervous disorders… Almost everyone I know in Iran suffers one of these ailments.
One more: “Why don’t Iranians just overthrow their government…” and I am going to puke. Ever overthrown a regime? Not an easy thing… I assure you.
“My aunt has the bill, I swear I have seen it myself, for the 4 bullets that were used to execute her son. When she asked: ‘where is his grave?’ she was shown a mass-grave where hundreds of others were also buried. This was 20 years ago.”
We were talking about the cartoon furor which, despite what you might think, is not such a furor in Iran. Not that Iranians are not observant Muslims, just that they are sick to death of the manipulation of Islam for political ends. (For those of you who read Dutch:read Erdbrink's eye-witness account of the demonstration in front of the Danish embassy.)
“The mullahs have always controlled our understanding of Islam,” a friend tells me. “They are losing that control here. Partly it’s because of the revolution. We have to study the Koran in school. Now, we ourselves know what is in it. We don’t need the mullahs.”
Iranians also have experience with limits on their freedom of humor. It was a capital crime to make fun of a mullah. Now it’s the number 1 Iranian past time. (How else could a frankly pro-Islamic film like Marmulak get banned? BTW, if you have not seen it, see it. It is great!) As a rule, Iranians are highly unlikely to support any efforts to limit their freedom of humor.
“Did you know that it is impossible to pick a mullah’s pocket?” a friend asks me. “It’s just too deep.”
Irritable bowel syndrome, ulcers, panic attacks, headaches, and other nervous disorders… Almost everyone I know in Iran suffers one of these ailments.
One more: “Why don’t Iranians just overthrow their government…” and I am going to puke. Ever overthrown a regime? Not an easy thing… I assure you.
“My aunt has the bill, I swear I have seen it myself, for the 4 bullets that were used to execute her son. When she asked: ‘where is his grave?’ she was shown a mass-grave where hundreds of others were also buried. This was 20 years ago.”
We were talking about the cartoon furor which, despite what you might think, is not such a furor in Iran. Not that Iranians are not observant Muslims, just that they are sick to death of the manipulation of Islam for political ends. (For those of you who read Dutch:read Erdbrink's eye-witness account of the demonstration in front of the Danish embassy.)
“The mullahs have always controlled our understanding of Islam,” a friend tells me. “They are losing that control here. Partly it’s because of the revolution. We have to study the Koran in school. Now, we ourselves know what is in it. We don’t need the mullahs.”
Iranians also have experience with limits on their freedom of humor. It was a capital crime to make fun of a mullah. Now it’s the number 1 Iranian past time. (How else could a frankly pro-Islamic film like Marmulak get banned? BTW, if you have not seen it, see it. It is great!) As a rule, Iranians are highly unlikely to support any efforts to limit their freedom of humor.
“Did you know that it is impossible to pick a mullah’s pocket?” a friend asks me. “It’s just too deep.”
Monday, February 06, 2006
Sister called, “Has cartoon-mania hit your neighborhood yet?”
“If it’s not on the cartoon channel, I don’t see it.”
I laughed.
The cartoons are now part of the nuclear crisis in Iran.
“Give me a letter asking the American soldiers not to kill me,” a friend asks me. It’s half a joke, half serious. Iranians really worry about the effects of being referred to the Security Council.
“You mean even the Russians voted against us?” a taxi driver asks in disbelief. K explains for him.
“Only Syria, Venezuela, and Cuba voted against the resolution.”
“Syria, Venezuela, and Cuba? You mean the Chinese voted against us too?”
“The IAEA does not trust that Iran has told the full truth.”
The driver just accepts this. Like very other Iranian, he knows there is no arguing with that comment.
“Why do we have such bad luck?” the driver asks.
“Well we have a president who cannot even accept the fact that 6 million Jews were killed in gas chambers and asks for Israel to be wiped off the map. Not even the Palestinians ask for this, but we have to.”
“What difference does that make?”
“What if Bush said that there was no war with Iraq and that over 1 million people did not die in that war? How do you think that would make us feel?”
Destination reached. An informal gathering that includes Iranians, Iraninan-kharigi, an Indian or three or four, some Australians, and us…
Talk of cartoon mania. “I could start a riot in India with these two posters.” Shows us the Ali and Hossein posters that grace the streets of Iran.
“Some Iranians tell me that those paintings are not really of Ali or Hossein, but of their friends.”
“I was visiting family who showed me a light-up painting of Ali. They did not say it was of one of his friends.”
“We also have a friend who keeps a 300-year old painting of Mohammad hidden in her bedroom. ‘They say there are no paintings of Mohammad, but I have one,’ she brags.”
“But still, it’s a pretty lame expression of free speech. Especially given the fact that the Muslim communities in Northern Europe feel so marginalized and under attack, which, of course, does not excuse the reaction.”
“Muslims are thinned skin.”
“You have to have a thicker skin in this world…”
After much discussion an agreement was made: “Mono-cultures are bad.”
Well my friend the entomologist agrees. She always told me that mono-cultures can be quickly destroyed by disease.
“If it’s not on the cartoon channel, I don’t see it.”
I laughed.
The cartoons are now part of the nuclear crisis in Iran.
“The Muslim world is vigilant”, Haddad-Adel said. “As they have expressed outrage and protest at the desecration of the prophet of Islam, they will not keep silent against bullying remarks under the pretext of a resolution of the UN nuclear agency”.
“Give me a letter asking the American soldiers not to kill me,” a friend asks me. It’s half a joke, half serious. Iranians really worry about the effects of being referred to the Security Council.
“You mean even the Russians voted against us?” a taxi driver asks in disbelief. K explains for him.
“Only Syria, Venezuela, and Cuba voted against the resolution.”
“Syria, Venezuela, and Cuba? You mean the Chinese voted against us too?”
“The IAEA does not trust that Iran has told the full truth.”
The driver just accepts this. Like very other Iranian, he knows there is no arguing with that comment.
“Why do we have such bad luck?” the driver asks.
“Well we have a president who cannot even accept the fact that 6 million Jews were killed in gas chambers and asks for Israel to be wiped off the map. Not even the Palestinians ask for this, but we have to.”
“What difference does that make?”
“What if Bush said that there was no war with Iraq and that over 1 million people did not die in that war? How do you think that would make us feel?”
Destination reached. An informal gathering that includes Iranians, Iraninan-kharigi, an Indian or three or four, some Australians, and us…
Talk of cartoon mania. “I could start a riot in India with these two posters.” Shows us the Ali and Hossein posters that grace the streets of Iran.
“Some Iranians tell me that those paintings are not really of Ali or Hossein, but of their friends.”
“I was visiting family who showed me a light-up painting of Ali. They did not say it was of one of his friends.”
“We also have a friend who keeps a 300-year old painting of Mohammad hidden in her bedroom. ‘They say there are no paintings of Mohammad, but I have one,’ she brags.”
“But still, it’s a pretty lame expression of free speech. Especially given the fact that the Muslim communities in Northern Europe feel so marginalized and under attack, which, of course, does not excuse the reaction.”
“Muslims are thinned skin.”
“You have to have a thicker skin in this world…”
After much discussion an agreement was made: “Mono-cultures are bad.”
Well my friend the entomologist agrees. She always told me that mono-cultures can be quickly destroyed by disease.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Adventures of Mr.Behi: We still can or we never could?
Adventures of Mr.Behi: We still can or we never could?
Just enjoying this post from Mr. Behi:
Just enjoying this post from Mr. Behi:
There is a lovely story about one of the old comic legend in Iranian literature that talks about the day he shouted in the middle of the main square of his town that he was still as powerful as when he was 20. People gathered around that 60 year old guy and asked for proof.
He took them to the country side where there was a big rock along side of the river. He started pushing the rock so hard for some minutes and then gave up. After restoring his breath he claimed: "See, I could neither move this when I was 20".
The Iranian president claimed :" We STILL have means to confront the west".
Cartoon-mania
Speaking of sense of humor…
Cartoon-mania has swept the airwaves. Free speech? Blasphemy? K and I have been discussing it. We argued a bit about free speech. I have been disgusted – yes that is the right word – by the arguments on both sides: the cartoon supporters and the cartoon detractors. Both are a bit incoherent and dogmatic. As if free speech demands the printing and reprinting of the cartoons ad nauseum… and as if blasphemy is a legitmate legal ruling in today's world.
In America, we have come to a kind of truce. What do most Americans know? That in polite society only Jews make Jewish jokes; only Blacks use the “n” word; only Poles make Polish jokes… and everybody gets to pick on the dominant culture. That’s the way that minorities protect themselves. It wasn’t an easy truce to come to… and it is violated. I see it as a manners issue, not a free speech issue.
Cartoon-mania has swept the airwaves. Free speech? Blasphemy? K and I have been discussing it. We argued a bit about free speech. I have been disgusted – yes that is the right word – by the arguments on both sides: the cartoon supporters and the cartoon detractors. Both are a bit incoherent and dogmatic. As if free speech demands the printing and reprinting of the cartoons ad nauseum… and as if blasphemy is a legitmate legal ruling in today's world.
In America, we have come to a kind of truce. What do most Americans know? That in polite society only Jews make Jewish jokes; only Blacks use the “n” word; only Poles make Polish jokes… and everybody gets to pick on the dominant culture. That’s the way that minorities protect themselves. It wasn’t an easy truce to come to… and it is violated. I see it as a manners issue, not a free speech issue.
Party Talk
Tagged: Iran daily life
We attend more parties in Iran in two months than we do in two years elsewhere.
It’s not like you can say “Hey, let’s go for a couple of beers after work.” No, you have to organize something, go to someone’s house, climb a mountain… something like that.
There are certain patterns to parties. For instance, Iranian parties are filled with couples who look like they stepped out of a high-school prom photo even though they are way over high-school age. You always have somewhere to wear your prom dress or suit in Iran, that’s for sure. Especially if that prom dress is strapless and low cut and that suit is trendy but not a tux. Some Iranian parties involve loud music and dancing. Others involve chatting in a living room, playing cards and backgammon. Of course there are the rumored orgies, but I have never met anyone who was actually invited to one.
Anglo parties are pretty casual with women and men complaining about hijab and Iran, dressed in jeans, and little to no effort on hair and makeup.
Intellectual parties are filled with women in long embroidered shirts, men in natural fiber vests, alcohol, some excellent dancing by the older set (the younger set just sits and talks), and lots and lots of talk.
They *can* be mixed.
“Why didn’t I study the culture of Brazil? Why did I have to choose the Middle East? I miss fun,” a friend lamented.
“When I go home, I am amazed at the level of fun. I mean I watched movies in a parking lot, drinking a beer. That was fun! I would be willing to fight for fun.”
“I used to think sitting outside having a beer in a café in a park was a bore. Now I dream about it.”
“It’s never boring in Iran, but it isn’t all that fun either.
“Which is why everyone feels that the situation in Iran is so unstable. I mean, if it were fun here, then people would feel more secure. They would feel like there was a future here.”
“Every bit of fun is stamped on.”
My friend in America always told me that paranoid powers have no sense of humor. “They say that the Nixon administration had no sense of humor.” Well this one filters satire on the internet and puts political humorists in prison.
(BTW, wanted to post this on Wednesday night, but I was late for a party)
We attend more parties in Iran in two months than we do in two years elsewhere.
It’s not like you can say “Hey, let’s go for a couple of beers after work.” No, you have to organize something, go to someone’s house, climb a mountain… something like that.
There are certain patterns to parties. For instance, Iranian parties are filled with couples who look like they stepped out of a high-school prom photo even though they are way over high-school age. You always have somewhere to wear your prom dress or suit in Iran, that’s for sure. Especially if that prom dress is strapless and low cut and that suit is trendy but not a tux. Some Iranian parties involve loud music and dancing. Others involve chatting in a living room, playing cards and backgammon. Of course there are the rumored orgies, but I have never met anyone who was actually invited to one.
Anglo parties are pretty casual with women and men complaining about hijab and Iran, dressed in jeans, and little to no effort on hair and makeup.
Intellectual parties are filled with women in long embroidered shirts, men in natural fiber vests, alcohol, some excellent dancing by the older set (the younger set just sits and talks), and lots and lots of talk.
They *can* be mixed.
“Why didn’t I study the culture of Brazil? Why did I have to choose the Middle East? I miss fun,” a friend lamented.
“When I go home, I am amazed at the level of fun. I mean I watched movies in a parking lot, drinking a beer. That was fun! I would be willing to fight for fun.”
“I used to think sitting outside having a beer in a café in a park was a bore. Now I dream about it.”
“It’s never boring in Iran, but it isn’t all that fun either.
“Which is why everyone feels that the situation in Iran is so unstable. I mean, if it were fun here, then people would feel more secure. They would feel like there was a future here.”
“Every bit of fun is stamped on.”
My friend in America always told me that paranoid powers have no sense of humor. “They say that the Nixon administration had no sense of humor.” Well this one filters satire on the internet and puts political humorists in prison.
(BTW, wanted to post this on Wednesday night, but I was late for a party)
Monday, January 30, 2006
Just north of Tehran
Can you believe that a short car ride north of Tehran you can be in the mountains hiking in deep snow? Wish I could ski...
Negotiation
Tagged as: Iran daily life
…Spent the week watching K negotiate a relatively small contract with Iranian vendors. The days were filled with offers immediately rebuked, prices rising 20% in a matter of hours, and general miscommunication, subterfuge, and ambiguity.
“Why didn’t you just send them packing?” a European friend asked us when we described our week to her.
“We were agreeing,” K explained. Our friend gave a knowing laugh.
Finally a contract was signed. Everyone seemed happy.
The next day the signatory an K were in a meeting. “I need 3 weeks more to complete the project.”
“You signed the contract.”
(3-hour discussion boiled down to 2 sentences.)
The signatory broke the contract, and it all started again with someone new…
So when we heard Jack Straw say that the Iranians were the most difficult negotiators he had ever dealt with, all we could do was laugh.
…Spent the week watching K negotiate a relatively small contract with Iranian vendors. The days were filled with offers immediately rebuked, prices rising 20% in a matter of hours, and general miscommunication, subterfuge, and ambiguity.
“Why didn’t you just send them packing?” a European friend asked us when we described our week to her.
“We were agreeing,” K explained. Our friend gave a knowing laugh.
Finally a contract was signed. Everyone seemed happy.
The next day the signatory an K were in a meeting. “I need 3 weeks more to complete the project.”
“You signed the contract.”
(3-hour discussion boiled down to 2 sentences.)
The signatory broke the contract, and it all started again with someone new…
So when we heard Jack Straw say that the Iranians were the most difficult negotiators he had ever dealt with, all we could do was laugh.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Taxi Talk
Tagged as: Iran taxis
Got into a car that smelled like cat pee… I imagined that the windows were left open one night and Tehran’s cats made use of the car.
We passed a fancy hair salon for men with wall length headshots of long haired men. “I’ve never lived anywhere else where men were as fussy about their hair,” I commented.
“Hey,” said K, “it’s all we’ve got.”
“If you go to South Tehran with that kind of hair, you get arrested,” our driver told us. “Too much gel and they get you. We have no freedom.”
That got him started…
“I don’t understand why we are making all this fuss about nuclear energy. We have bombs with anti-Israel slogans painted on them and we want to know why Israel is afraid of us having nuclear capabilities. I cannot understand why our two countries are not friendly in the first place. We were friends. We Iranians have nothing against Israel. Why do we have to pretend that we do?”
I am thinking that my Persian is failing me. I just sit and let the driver do all of the talking. When we get out of the car, I ask K if I understood him correctly. “You did,” he tells me. “A lot of Iranians feel the way he does.”
The day before an accountant told me that Israelis were crazy. “Don’t you agree?”
“Well, given the fact that so many of them were born in Iran, I would say that if they are crazy you are crazy.”
“You got me,” he admitted.
Iranians are so baffled by the world’s response to AN’s anti-semetic comments. I have said this over and over: they have no idea of the true history of World War II. They never heard of the holocaust. They cannot understand the emotional/historical impact of AN’s rhetoric. Frankly, most Iranians cannot understand why the rest of the world pays attention to AN when they themselves do not.
P.S. Thanks to Troy Z. for this link . Great insight...
Got into a car that smelled like cat pee… I imagined that the windows were left open one night and Tehran’s cats made use of the car.
We passed a fancy hair salon for men with wall length headshots of long haired men. “I’ve never lived anywhere else where men were as fussy about their hair,” I commented.
“Hey,” said K, “it’s all we’ve got.”
“If you go to South Tehran with that kind of hair, you get arrested,” our driver told us. “Too much gel and they get you. We have no freedom.”
That got him started…
“I don’t understand why we are making all this fuss about nuclear energy. We have bombs with anti-Israel slogans painted on them and we want to know why Israel is afraid of us having nuclear capabilities. I cannot understand why our two countries are not friendly in the first place. We were friends. We Iranians have nothing against Israel. Why do we have to pretend that we do?”
I am thinking that my Persian is failing me. I just sit and let the driver do all of the talking. When we get out of the car, I ask K if I understood him correctly. “You did,” he tells me. “A lot of Iranians feel the way he does.”
The day before an accountant told me that Israelis were crazy. “Don’t you agree?”
“Well, given the fact that so many of them were born in Iran, I would say that if they are crazy you are crazy.”
“You got me,” he admitted.
Iranians are so baffled by the world’s response to AN’s anti-semetic comments. I have said this over and over: they have no idea of the true history of World War II. They never heard of the holocaust. They cannot understand the emotional/historical impact of AN’s rhetoric. Frankly, most Iranians cannot understand why the rest of the world pays attention to AN when they themselves do not.
P.S. Thanks to Troy Z. for this link . Great insight...
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
There is a mouse in the wall and it has ears…
New Persian lesson of the day… In Iran it’s not that “the walls have ears,” but that "the mouse in the wall has ears…"
I was speaking with a group of Iranians about nothing in particular and learned that saying as well as this one: “He left his hat backstage…” which is what you do when you lose control of a situation.
My “teachers” were calling me Miss America. “I just cannot remember your name,” the ringleader explained. “I hope you do not mind being called Miss America.”
“Why don’t you invite Bush to visit you here?” One asked me.
“Do you really want a visit from Bush?”
“I think if Bush came to Iran, he would see what a peaceful people we are and he would put the whole world’s minds to rest. Don’t you agree?”
I laughed. One of the group added, “When you do not visit Iran, you think we are an awful people… that we are terrorists, right?”
“Right,” I agreed. “That is the way the world sees you.”
“But we are nice. We do not want to fight anyone. We are peaceful.”
“You are,” I agree.
Iranians are worried about being bombed. Many are already making predictions about where. Apparently housing prices have dropped in a certain neighborhood of Tehran.
I was speaking with a group of Iranians about nothing in particular and learned that saying as well as this one: “He left his hat backstage…” which is what you do when you lose control of a situation.
My “teachers” were calling me Miss America. “I just cannot remember your name,” the ringleader explained. “I hope you do not mind being called Miss America.”
“Why don’t you invite Bush to visit you here?” One asked me.
“Do you really want a visit from Bush?”
“I think if Bush came to Iran, he would see what a peaceful people we are and he would put the whole world’s minds to rest. Don’t you agree?”
I laughed. One of the group added, “When you do not visit Iran, you think we are an awful people… that we are terrorists, right?”
“Right,” I agreed. “That is the way the world sees you.”
“But we are nice. We do not want to fight anyone. We are peaceful.”
“You are,” I agree.
Iranians are worried about being bombed. Many are already making predictions about where. Apparently housing prices have dropped in a certain neighborhood of Tehran.
Oprah
Tagged as: Iran culture
I caught an episode of Oprah when her guest was Jamie Foxx. Laughed a lot. My host said to me, “This is what gives life: a comedian. This regime just wants to make us cry all the time. They want to take away our laughter.”
The next day, I was in a taxi. The driver said to me: “We never laugh anymore. All we do is cry. That’s all we are allowed to do.”
“Don’t you watch Barareh Nights?” I asked.
“You got me,” he answered. “That *does* make me laugh.”
Barareh Nights is the current rage on Iranina tv. It is really stupid if you are not familiar with current Iranian culture. If you are, then it is funny: the ridiculous accents, the silly scenarios, the jealousy, bribery, and petty vindictiveness. It’s all funny. JIGGAR… (that last endearment is for my Iranian readers...)
I caught an episode of Oprah when her guest was Jamie Foxx. Laughed a lot. My host said to me, “This is what gives life: a comedian. This regime just wants to make us cry all the time. They want to take away our laughter.”
The next day, I was in a taxi. The driver said to me: “We never laugh anymore. All we do is cry. That’s all we are allowed to do.”
“Don’t you watch Barareh Nights?” I asked.
“You got me,” he answered. “That *does* make me laugh.”
Barareh Nights is the current rage on Iranina tv. It is really stupid if you are not familiar with current Iranian culture. If you are, then it is funny: the ridiculous accents, the silly scenarios, the jealousy, bribery, and petty vindictiveness. It’s all funny. JIGGAR… (that last endearment is for my Iranian readers...)
Lotsa Snow
We watched as the snow just fell and fell and fell. For days it has been so overcast that you could not see the mountains a few miles away (thank god it was not pollution blocking our view). For two days now, we have had sun which has has revealed the white moutains surrounding Tehran. (I promise to post pics) There are lots of tall pines in Tehran, so it did not take too much snow to make the northern and colder part of the city look like a Christmas postcard.
All this and nuclear negotiations too! For 2 years I have been arguing with Iranians about their nuclear ambitions. Sharon’s stroke has provided me with yet another argument. You’ll note that Sharon is being treated in a hospital in Jerusalem, not in Paris or Berlin or New York. Which head of state in the rest of this region would receive critical care within his own country? Iran has great doctors, minimal medical ethics, little investment in infrastructure, and almost nothing invested in research. Yet, the official line is that the West is keeping them from “scientific” research. Iran could have brilliant, groundbreaking medical research and medical care if the priorities were on healthcare instead of proving to the world they can do something the Americans did 60 years ago.
All the n-bomb does is bring you more enemies.
All this and nuclear negotiations too! For 2 years I have been arguing with Iranians about their nuclear ambitions. Sharon’s stroke has provided me with yet another argument. You’ll note that Sharon is being treated in a hospital in Jerusalem, not in Paris or Berlin or New York. Which head of state in the rest of this region would receive critical care within his own country? Iran has great doctors, minimal medical ethics, little investment in infrastructure, and almost nothing invested in research. Yet, the official line is that the West is keeping them from “scientific” research. Iran could have brilliant, groundbreaking medical research and medical care if the priorities were on healthcare instead of proving to the world they can do something the Americans did 60 years ago.
All the n-bomb does is bring you more enemies.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Isolation…
Iran: politics
I need to reopen the conversation on isolating Iran through sanctions. Let’s start with this presumption: the mullahs are not going anywhere. They will not be overthrown or pushed out because of a few puny sanctions. In fact, the political-fundamentalists among them will be strengthened by sanctions because it will mean that most of the population will become dependent on their good graces. Sanctions also mean that the group in power will become the lone voice inside of Iran. It’s already hard enough to have any diversity of opinion.
The regime welcomes the threat of attack. The only way for them to unite is against a common enemy. Unity is what they long for. Unity is what they do not have. Achieving unity presupposes a common enemy.
So, isolating Iran plays into the hands of the political-fundamentalists by making them an even stronger voice in this country and by giving them an enemy. Hurray.
Iran is not waiting to become America or Europe. Iran minus the regime does not equal freedom or democracy as much as Iranians would like you to believe. You need to have a public debate and free speech before you get democracy. That’s a lot harder than it might sound.
The publicly sanctioned arguments are those of degrees here in Iran. They do not represent true opposition. Those involved meticulously filter the voices that get heard. When they fall out with those in power, their voices are also filtered. Lo and behold! They are surprised that after a career of keeping others quiet, they can longer be heard.
I need to reopen the conversation on isolating Iran through sanctions. Let’s start with this presumption: the mullahs are not going anywhere. They will not be overthrown or pushed out because of a few puny sanctions. In fact, the political-fundamentalists among them will be strengthened by sanctions because it will mean that most of the population will become dependent on their good graces. Sanctions also mean that the group in power will become the lone voice inside of Iran. It’s already hard enough to have any diversity of opinion.
The regime welcomes the threat of attack. The only way for them to unite is against a common enemy. Unity is what they long for. Unity is what they do not have. Achieving unity presupposes a common enemy.
So, isolating Iran plays into the hands of the political-fundamentalists by making them an even stronger voice in this country and by giving them an enemy. Hurray.
Iran is not waiting to become America or Europe. Iran minus the regime does not equal freedom or democracy as much as Iranians would like you to believe. You need to have a public debate and free speech before you get democracy. That’s a lot harder than it might sound.
The publicly sanctioned arguments are those of degrees here in Iran. They do not represent true opposition. Those involved meticulously filter the voices that get heard. When they fall out with those in power, their voices are also filtered. Lo and behold! They are surprised that after a career of keeping others quiet, they can longer be heard.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Taxi Talk
Iran taxis
(Visual: Driver, big bear of a man in his late 50s. Close-cropped white hair. Expansive smile.)
Me: “Wow. There is so much traffic today.”
Driver: “It’s all from British intelligence. It’s their way of disrupting our lives.” (jokes)
K: ”It’s a good thing my wife is American.”
Driver: “We wish the CIA was here tying up traffic. Long live the CIA! When are they getting here?”
Perhaps he was secretly referring to the goldmine of information provided by the CIA itself: [CIA Gave Iran Bomb Plans, Book Says]
*****
(Visual: Driver small bear of a man, young: early to mid 20s; close-cropped dark hair, goatee.)
Driver: “Islam is not our religion. We should all be Zoroastrians. That’s really ours. We pray in Arabic! What language do you pray in? I am sure it is not Arabic. Can you imagine the imposition of this religion on our culture?
Actually, I can. That’s the way the world works. But I keep my mouth shut, and he continues:
“How would you feel if your husband took another wife? I’ll tell you that I would never approve of my wife taking another husband! Why should she be happy if I took another wife?”
*****
(Visual: Driver, small, thin, older: maybe early 60s; white knit cap on his head typical of village men, grey wool suit coat)
Driver: “Our country has really fallen apart. We have no freedom, no nothing anymore.”
Me: “I always wonder what people mean when they say ‘freedom’?”
Driver: “We were freer during the time of the Shah. We were going to be more free. At least we could drink and women could wear whatever they wanted. Now we can’t even do that. Now women wear almost nothing because they are forced to wear hijab. Sometimes I think it would be better for women to walk around naked than to wear what they wear now. There is too much pressure. All of our lives are lived under pressure.”
(Visual: Driver, big bear of a man in his late 50s. Close-cropped white hair. Expansive smile.)
Me: “Wow. There is so much traffic today.”
Driver: “It’s all from British intelligence. It’s their way of disrupting our lives.” (jokes)
K: ”It’s a good thing my wife is American.”
Driver: “We wish the CIA was here tying up traffic. Long live the CIA! When are they getting here?”
Perhaps he was secretly referring to the goldmine of information provided by the CIA itself: [CIA Gave Iran Bomb Plans, Book Says]
*****
(Visual: Driver small bear of a man, young: early to mid 20s; close-cropped dark hair, goatee.)
Driver: “Islam is not our religion. We should all be Zoroastrians. That’s really ours. We pray in Arabic! What language do you pray in? I am sure it is not Arabic. Can you imagine the imposition of this religion on our culture?
Actually, I can. That’s the way the world works. But I keep my mouth shut, and he continues:
“How would you feel if your husband took another wife? I’ll tell you that I would never approve of my wife taking another husband! Why should she be happy if I took another wife?”
*****
(Visual: Driver, small, thin, older: maybe early 60s; white knit cap on his head typical of village men, grey wool suit coat)
Driver: “Our country has really fallen apart. We have no freedom, no nothing anymore.”
Me: “I always wonder what people mean when they say ‘freedom’?”
Driver: “We were freer during the time of the Shah. We were going to be more free. At least we could drink and women could wear whatever they wanted. Now we can’t even do that. Now women wear almost nothing because they are forced to wear hijab. Sometimes I think it would be better for women to walk around naked than to wear what they wear now. There is too much pressure. All of our lives are lived under pressure.”
Monday, December 26, 2005
Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukkah and Happy Longest Night
Iran celebrations
Sorry for the radio silence. I had internet problems and anger management problems.
I have never had so many Christmas invitations before…Brunch here, lunch there, dinner somewhere else… Little plastic Christmas trees, revolutionary guards with kalashnikovs roaming the streets, and snow in the mountains! On Christmas eve, we even had a visit from a skinny Santa Claus.
Last year I wrote that I believe that in the coming 10 years Christmas will become a full-fledged holiday in Iran. This year was even Christmasier than last. Not one of our Christmas invitations has come from a Christian. Iranian state radio even wished Christians a merry Christmas and played Western music. (AN himself used the theme song from Bonanza in his campaign clip)
I love it when Iranian Muslims ask me what is traditional for Christmas: “Chinese food & a movie,” I answer. Of course, they don’t get it…Fortunately another foreigner could answer: “Alcohol.”
In the holiday spirit… here are a couple of jokes:
Iran: humor
A joke:
Bush, Chirac, & AN pay a visit to God to see what’s in store for them in the coming year. First Bush:
“I’m afraid I have bad news for you,” God tells him. “Things are not going to go so well in Iraq. The public is going to lose its faith in you. You’ll have horrible hurricanes one after the other, and the republicans will lose the election.” Bush left crying.
Then Chirac:
“The news for you isn’t so hot either. You’ll have riots in the streets. Thousands of cars will be set on fire, and everyone will blame you.” Chirac, too, leaves crying.
Then AN:
“And what’s in store for my country?” AN asks. God hesitates a moment and then starts crying himself.
Another joke:
In a country where fish fall in love and turtles fly, it’s no wonder a monkey is president.
Oh and more humor...
Blocked on my side, but I bet you guys can read this: "How about transferring Israel to Iran." Hey... I laughed.
Sorry for the radio silence. I had internet problems and anger management problems.
I have never had so many Christmas invitations before…Brunch here, lunch there, dinner somewhere else… Little plastic Christmas trees, revolutionary guards with kalashnikovs roaming the streets, and snow in the mountains! On Christmas eve, we even had a visit from a skinny Santa Claus.
Last year I wrote that I believe that in the coming 10 years Christmas will become a full-fledged holiday in Iran. This year was even Christmasier than last. Not one of our Christmas invitations has come from a Christian. Iranian state radio even wished Christians a merry Christmas and played Western music. (AN himself used the theme song from Bonanza in his campaign clip)
I love it when Iranian Muslims ask me what is traditional for Christmas: “Chinese food & a movie,” I answer. Of course, they don’t get it…Fortunately another foreigner could answer: “Alcohol.”
In the holiday spirit… here are a couple of jokes:
Iran: humor
A joke:
Bush, Chirac, & AN pay a visit to God to see what’s in store for them in the coming year. First Bush:
“I’m afraid I have bad news for you,” God tells him. “Things are not going to go so well in Iraq. The public is going to lose its faith in you. You’ll have horrible hurricanes one after the other, and the republicans will lose the election.” Bush left crying.
Then Chirac:
“The news for you isn’t so hot either. You’ll have riots in the streets. Thousands of cars will be set on fire, and everyone will blame you.” Chirac, too, leaves crying.
Then AN:
“And what’s in store for my country?” AN asks. God hesitates a moment and then starts crying himself.
Another joke:
In a country where fish fall in love and turtles fly, it’s no wonder a monkey is president.
Oh and more humor...
Blocked on my side, but I bet you guys can read this: "How about transferring Israel to Iran." Hey... I laughed.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Earlier the day of the crash…
Iran daily life
Waiting for a telephone line to be connected in Tehran means entering a strange world of bizarre excuses and broken promises. If you don’t know someone in the telecom office and then if you don’t grease his palm, you are guaranteed horrific service. If you do know someone that you can appropriately “tip” then you just get bad service.
After several broken promises, we were told: “The guy who can connect your phone had a death in the family.”
I found that I could not be sympathetic. “Iranians always have a death in the family,” I responded. “It seems to be a favorite excuse.”
Everyone laughed.
Later that day, we ordered pizza to be delivered. It arrived an hour late and cold. When we called to complain, the manager told us that his delivery person had just died.
Again we laughed.
It’s sad isn’t it? You get to a point here where the news just keeps getting worse and worse and you have no way of controlling it. Sucks, right. You just laugh. And then a few hours later the news is even worse.
Waiting for a telephone line to be connected in Tehran means entering a strange world of bizarre excuses and broken promises. If you don’t know someone in the telecom office and then if you don’t grease his palm, you are guaranteed horrific service. If you do know someone that you can appropriately “tip” then you just get bad service.
After several broken promises, we were told: “The guy who can connect your phone had a death in the family.”
I found that I could not be sympathetic. “Iranians always have a death in the family,” I responded. “It seems to be a favorite excuse.”
Everyone laughed.
Later that day, we ordered pizza to be delivered. It arrived an hour late and cold. When we called to complain, the manager told us that his delivery person had just died.
Again we laughed.
It’s sad isn’t it? You get to a point here where the news just keeps getting worse and worse and you have no way of controlling it. Sucks, right. You just laugh. And then a few hours later the news is even worse.
Plane crashes, pollution, & other every day occurrences.
Iran daily life
Iran is deep into its second week of horrific pollution levels. Schools and offices closed last week in an effort to reduce Tehranian’s mobility needs and therefore reduce the pollution. No such luck. It just keeps getting worse. There is no rain, no wind, no nothing. I am starting to feel like someone has been standing on my chest, like I am caving in.
In the midst of all of this, a military plane crashed with 68 journalists on board. The pilot did not want to take off. He was ordered to do so. This is a scandal. (See idiotic graphic on IRNA’s site. Note that tulips are the symbol of the martyr. Martyr to what? Irrational decision-making?) Mr. Behi expresses the common outrage.lThe uncommon outrage is that it is America’s fault because of sanctions. Well, there are sanctions against obtaining nuclear capabilities and Iran seems clever enough to get around those. Also check out the BBC’s report via regimechangeiran.
Our friends have been attending a lot of funerals. Many of them knew people on board. I wish them well.
Ahh… but the pollution is the lasting disaster. When will it end?
Iran is deep into its second week of horrific pollution levels. Schools and offices closed last week in an effort to reduce Tehranian’s mobility needs and therefore reduce the pollution. No such luck. It just keeps getting worse. There is no rain, no wind, no nothing. I am starting to feel like someone has been standing on my chest, like I am caving in.
In the midst of all of this, a military plane crashed with 68 journalists on board. The pilot did not want to take off. He was ordered to do so. This is a scandal. (See idiotic graphic on IRNA’s site. Note that tulips are the symbol of the martyr. Martyr to what? Irrational decision-making?) Mr. Behi expresses the common outrage.lThe uncommon outrage is that it is America’s fault because of sanctions. Well, there are sanctions against obtaining nuclear capabilities and Iran seems clever enough to get around those. Also check out the BBC’s report via regimechangeiran.
Our friends have been attending a lot of funerals. Many of them knew people on board. I wish them well.
Ahh… but the pollution is the lasting disaster. When will it end?
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