Monday, July 24, 2006

Sleep

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My friend wonders if there is a connection between living in Iran and problems sleeping. When you ask expats and Iranians who travel abroad about their vacations, they talk first about the amazing sleep they had. I, for instance, slept for two days the first time I left Iran.

My point is, you just never know what is going to happen. Sometimes I sit out on our balcony and think, Tehran before the bombing… Then I argue that there will be no bombing.

But it’s even smaller and less important than that. In a land where almost everyone breaks the law, at any moment you could be arrested. The laws here govern too much private business and not enough public business. There must be some law you are breaking, after all. If you’re not, you must be a child.

And it’s even smaller than that: will any of the day’s promises be kept? Will that guy I am working with show up for his 4:00 meeting? Will houseguests appear tonight? Will I be able to watch that tv show until the end or will the satellite be blocked? Is the repair guy a thief or a spy? Is my computer being infected by malware?

To live in Iran is to worry non-stop. The worry is like a low hum, barely audible.

1 comment:

Tina said...

I love this post. It captures a difficult feeling in a way that we can understand. It is perfect.

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